Bananas, Bravery, and a Kiss from an Elephant

My afternoon tour of the ancient city of Ayutthaya had just wrapped up, and my guide and I were making our way back to Bangkok when we passed what looked like a rustic roadside corral… filled with elephants.

As one does.

My guide casually asked, “Have you ever fed an elephant?”

Now, there are moments in life where you pause and carefully weigh your options. This was not one of those moments. This was more of a “try not to look like a cowardly Westerner” situation.

So naturally, I said yes.

Because when in Rome—or in this case, Thailand—you feed the elephant and hope you are not part of the meal plan.

As we walked in, I counted about ten elephants standing behind a modest wooden rail that looked… optimistic at best. The elephants, meanwhile, seemed to recognize the arrival of a snack-bearing tourist immediately. It was like I had wandered into an all-you-can-eat buffet—and I was holding the serving tray.

After handing over a few baht, I was given a small basket of bananas. Thai bananas, mind you—roughly half the size of the ones back home. In other words, the elephant equivalent of a light appetizer.

I approached cautiously.

One banana in hand. One hand I hoped to keep.

I extended my arm like a man making a life decision. The elephant reached out with its trunk—surprisingly gentle—plucked the banana from my fingers, and whoosh… gone. Not chewed. Not savored. Just… disappeared.

Encouraged (and still fully intact), I made my way down the line, feeding each elephant in turn. And here’s the thing—they were incredibly gentle. Before long, I found myself relaxing, even enjoying the experience.

Which is when things escalated.

A young woman—late teens, maybe—approached my guide and asked if I’d like to take photos with her elephant. My guide translated, and I thought, Well, I’ve made it this far without losing a limb… why stop now?

Before we continue, a quick word about elephant handlers in Thailand.

They’re called mahouts, and their relationship with their elephant is something special. They often begin working with the animal when it’s young and stay with it for life—sometimes up to 70 years. That’s not just a job; that’s a commitment. A very large, very hungry commitment.

Elephants can eat 300–600 pounds of food a day. Which means feeding time alone is basically a full-time job. Then there’s bathing—often in rivers—where the mahout scrubs down several tons of animal. Imagine washing a Volkswagen bus every day for decades. Now give it a personality.

Also worth noting: elephants are the national animal of Thailand. They’re a symbol of strength, history, and cultural pride. And if you squint just right, you might even convince yourself the map of Thailand looks like an elephant’s head.

But I digress.

Back to me… and my rapidly evolving fascination with the elephants.

The mahout took my phone and began snapping photos while issuing commands. And this elephant? Absolute professional. It hugged me with its trunk, posed like it had an agent, and even balanced on its back legs like it was auditioning for a Vegas residency.

Then, without warning… it kissed me.

Yes. I have now been kissed by an elephant.

I didn’t know whether to feel honored or mildly confused.

What I did know was this: elephants are far smarter—and far more charming—than I had ever imagined.

As I was leaving, I turned back for one last look, just in time to see the same elephant twirling a hula hoop with its trunk like it was closing out a headline act.

Take that, Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus.

If you find yourself in Thailand and have the chance to visit an elephant sanctuary, I highly recommend it. It’s an unforgettable experience—and a chance to learn more about these incredible animals.

Just be warned…

If you play your cards right, you might end up sharing a moment.

Or a kiss.

Or, if things really go sideways…

a mud bath.

Until next time.